EQUILIBRIUM by Lorrie Thomson A year ago Laura's husband committed suicide. Diagnosed bipolar, for years Laura had juggled managing his illness, trying to get him to take his meds and his writing career with the care of their two children, home and her own almost non-existent writing. A year on, Laura thinks they are all coping well. She has finally redecorated the studio apartment where she found her husband's body all those months before and her friends have found her the ideal tenant, a good looking young doctor, who comes with references and clearance. So far so good but Laura still has nightmares and anxiety attacks about the day she found her husband, the day she couldn't save him and when 13 year old son starts to display some tendency towards the same illness as his father Laura's anxiety grows. Then there is 15 year old daughter Darcy; daddy's girl Darcy is perhaps the one struggling the most, headed on a downward spiral with bad boy Nick as she has to contend with her burgeoning sexuality contesting with her mother's warnings about pre-marital sex and a feeling of guilt about her father with an overpowering need to just forget. This is a very powerful novel about the effects of mental illness and one that is written with a sensitivity and knowledge that in no way undermines either the inflicted or their family. The stigma and effects of mental illness are born by all the family not just the sufferer and even after the inflicted one has taken the decision to end his life, the lives of his family go on battling that stigma and it's effects. Laura cannot stop thinking about the chances of her children developing the illness, always on the watch for any tell tale sign. The burden his illness has placed on his children, not just because they are the talk of the town but because it meant a lot of covering up his quirks when alive and they too know that they could end up like that. And then Laura has the knowledge that no matter what she did she couldn't save him but she needs to save her children. Caught up in grief, regret, guilt and fear, the family finally, through ups and downs and with the support of tenant Aiden find a way to move forward. For Laura that is falling in love, beginning again. For Darcy it is falling in love but knowing how far is far enough when troubled bad boy Nick takes things too far. For Troy is it finding a man that can truly be a father. For them all it is forgiving each other and their father and husband and learning things can be different. I really enjoyed this novel and found the depiction of Jack's illness frighteningly realistic, it really does show an awareness of the truth behind bipolar disorder and exactly how it can affect family and friends as well as the person inflicted; very eye opening. I also enjoyed the honest if sometimes painful portrayal of the family. Darcy as the troubled and 'trying not to show it' teenage girl with all the angst and worries of friendships, sex and boys as well as her dad; and Troy as the geeky jock who is caught between worrying how he can ever cope without a dad and knowing that his dad wasn't much use even if he'd lived. Laura is alive as the guilt ridden, yet angry widow, coping with everyone's grief but underneath still affected by all that is going on and needing to more forward and I was very glad that she did find happiness. A very thoughtful and thought provoking book.